Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
