My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize