No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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