ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
