laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
