Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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