You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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