I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
