well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize