i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
