She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
