Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
