it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i came on her dog
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
