im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
