I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
