Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
