your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize