before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
