I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
