Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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