Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
you never un-have a 4some
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
