____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize