She is in my trunk
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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