are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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