I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
