she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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