Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
