Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
