Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
