I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize