I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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