Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
