You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
