He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
