Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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