we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
