sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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