The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
