I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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