mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
