The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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