There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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