I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize