Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
