Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
