I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize