girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
