Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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