She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
