no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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