so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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