If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
