Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
