Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
