i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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