What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
