fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
