Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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