Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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